Housekeeping Notes

announcing a paid tier subscription, wattpad memories + some thoughts on the myth of the 'great writer'

“Art and artists must be in the market but not of it. And in that consists a tension that cannot be resolved; it can only be endured.”

— William Deresiewicz

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I’ve been on Substack since 2021, and published my first essay at the beginning of 2022. Since then, this platform has changed a lot (so has my writing) and honestly, it’s completely warped my brain about what it means to be a writer these days—especially now that almost everyone has a platform become one.

I initially approached Substack much like I approached Wattpad back in 2012: as a platform to write freely and write for free. I was 14, creating stories to pass time: a poor girl falling for a millionaire (Black Ties and a White Lie), an Alice in Wonderland fanfic where the Mad Hatter is a handsome, sea-faring, morally grey captain, and a satire about horny teenagers in some rural area in the South (Jon Doe).

I wasn’t thinking too much about my “worth” as a writer or when I’ll start amassing thousands of readers and followers. Though bitterness and envy visited me whenever I’d read teen authors turn their work into best-sellers seemingly overnight, like—brace for the nostalgia—Float and Death is My BFF, I remained realistic with my expectations. As most 14-year-olds did.

In my early twenties, as I started posting on Substack, I vehemently held on to this ethos: information should be accessible for everyone. Something about trying my hand at being an “anti-capitalist” in ways that felt possible, convenient. Something about attaching myself to this “starving artist” persona for reasons I haven’t questioned up until now.

So, where am I now?

Caterpillar and Butterfly having coffee: from Cosmos

I’m currently shedding this idea of what makes a “Real Writer”.

What is a real writer anyway? I used to think they were only serious academics, well-versed in poetry and prose, who had an MFA, or maybe two degrees, were traditionally published or made profits self-publishing, had a literary agent and an editor they seemed to be really good friends with, and went on book tours, talked at panels, and got interviewed. Then, once they finished promoting their work, they’d retreat to some cozy wooden summer house on a tree-lined driveway upstate or something like that.

I have to accept that being a writer today means something different. I have to believe it means finding worth in the work regardless of how or whether it’s monetized. Even if I don’t always feel it, creative work still means something to someone.

Sidenote: I love writing guides because they usually encourage writers to break rules by discouraging blind obedience, as Rule 6 of Orwell’s writing rules makes clear: “Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous.”

Ann Handley’s Everybody Writes has a first page that says, right in the middle: “Be careful of any advice, especially this one.”

Rules I’m breaking in real time:

• This belief that I must write for free on every platform and in every medium. It sounds self-righteous as hell now that I’m dedicating an entire post to the topic.

• That making it as a “writer” is some outlandish hero’s journey you have to walk selflessly, alone in some metaphorical forest, to be considered “great” one day.

• That making a profit off your creative work is considered selling out.

After nearly 20 years of writing, I’ve built enough of a foundation to accept that I am indeed a writer… even if I don’t make a profit one day. I acknowledge that writing demands time, patience, attention, and a whole lot of agonizing self-doubt. Along with this realization, I’m ready to leave behind a belief many of us carry: “I don’t deserve to get paid for my time, my patience, my attention, and all that self-doubt I tend to collect like dust on a sunlit wooden floor.”

So, what does this have to do with you?

I’m opening up a paid subscription tier. It’s $5/month or $50/year (yearly is cheaper).

As a free subscriber, you’ll get: Monthly-ish essays on creativity, film, culture, poetics, and other reflections.

As a paid subscriber, you’ll get: Everything above, plus access to community chats for writing advice + resources, audio essays, curated recommendations, and my endless gratitude.

↑ No concrete promises, but short fiction might make its way into the list above. The paid subscription tier will likely evolve over time—this is all still new, so stay with me :)

Thanks for being wonderful guests so far. Please continue to stay for free if you want to. I’m simply making more room in The Guest House for those who are choosing to pay for their room and board <3

P.S. this is a fantastic read (somewhat dated but so relevant) if this post resonated with you at all.